As 2017 strains towards its climactic climax, the Fanciful Fiction Auxiliary is, as always, here to add some lubricant.

Because we spent most of this year watching Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special on repeat, we’re announcing the winners of our annual Feathered Quill Award for Most Quiveringly Seductive Story a little later than usual—which is fine, because this award is too sexy for rules, so we haven’t broken any.

Thus, we are delighted to divulge that the 2017 joint Feathered Quill winners are Sylvia Da Silva for ‘The Carefully Curated Christmas‘, a flirtatiously festive romp and mellifluous ode to materialism; and J. Eliot-Kennedy Kennedy Kennedy for ‘Australian Musk’, a steamy, sensuously scented story of perfume, manhood, and transformative olfactory experiences.

Congratulations, Ms Da Silva and Ms Eliot-Kennedy Kennedy Kennedy, and may the organs of 2018 swell with satisfaction for you both.